Since young, we have been constantly told by our parents, teachers and friends that in order to excel, you need to learn from the wise. Correct? Well, I’ve a confession to make because I’m not an archetype of success when it comes to love. However, that doesn’t mean that I won’t be effective in dispensing advice on how to win girls’ heart.
I’ve hit the wall far too many times for me to remember and recently, I came into realization that in order to succeed, avoid doing what I always did and still do.
The following are some pointers which are by no means, exhaustive:
If you’re childish, act bloody matured and irresistibly cool
Initially, while going out with the girl of your dreams, refrain from talking animatedly and comically even though you are getting very excited with the positive signals shown by your potential victim. I know the temptation to remove whatever inhibitions is great but for Heaven’s sake, don’t! Neither should you give yourself away too much by talking incessantly because the more you talk, your cover will be blown and she will detect how child-like you are in no time. Secrets like how much you like hugging teddy bears while sleeping and that you follow Sesame Street religiously might be blurted out if you talk too much.
Instead, talk in a low tone and slowly. Additionally, look into her eyes and never blink when both of you are talking. If at anytime, you feel like coughing or sneezing, you must to it stylishly; unlike a typical Chinaman who feels he has to let the whole world know what he is doing.
Try to imagine James Bond acting all excited and I bet my bottom dollar, there won’t be sex scenes for us anymore. There’s a reason why he always beds girls and with the greatest of ease too.
I’ve hit the wall far too many times for me to remember and recently, I came into realization that in order to succeed, avoid doing what I always did and still do.
The following are some pointers which are by no means, exhaustive:
If you’re childish, act bloody matured and irresistibly cool
Initially, while going out with the girl of your dreams, refrain from talking animatedly and comically even though you are getting very excited with the positive signals shown by your potential victim. I know the temptation to remove whatever inhibitions is great but for Heaven’s sake, don’t! Neither should you give yourself away too much by talking incessantly because the more you talk, your cover will be blown and she will detect how child-like you are in no time. Secrets like how much you like hugging teddy bears while sleeping and that you follow Sesame Street religiously might be blurted out if you talk too much.
Instead, talk in a low tone and slowly. Additionally, look into her eyes and never blink when both of you are talking. If at anytime, you feel like coughing or sneezing, you must to it stylishly; unlike a typical Chinaman who feels he has to let the whole world know what he is doing.
Try to imagine James Bond acting all excited and I bet my bottom dollar, there won’t be sex scenes for us anymore. There’s a reason why he always beds girls and with the greatest of ease too.
Be mysterious
Ever wonder why U2 is hugely successful? To a certain extent, their hit “Mysterious Ways” helps them. Problem with me is that all total strangers read me like an open book.
Girls are attracted to guys who don’t reveal much about them because it piques their interest to find out more about what kind of person you are and what interests you, apart from sex, that is.
In trying to glean more information about you, they will go out with you another time.
How to be mysterious? Easy, just talk less.
Listen more and talk less
Undeniably, girls are talking machines and when 2 people go out together, if they get into a competition to see who talks more, who is going to do the listening? Also, the fairer gender will feel threatened if you talk too much because they will think that you are encroaching into their domain. On the other hand, listen intently to understand her better and give you the chance to talk as well, in relation to what she has just told you.
If at anytime you feel that she is talking too much, you may shut off your mind but please maintain that look of interest. Intersperse your slight nodding by making that “mmm hmm” sound. That way, she will think of you as a good listener.
Don’t be a Hokkien
Hokkiens are awfully stingy and such people usually don’t get their carrot. For the first few times, don’t bring her to hawker centres or places without air-conditioner. Refrain from suggesting that she foots the bill or share the burden of paying.
When the waiter comes with the bill, remove your platinum card (if you have any) from the wallet and flash it for 2 seconds before handing it to the waiter. If you don’t have such card, go ahead and pay using cash but no exact amount please because you are expected to leave tips to the waiter when he passes you the change. This way, you show her that you are oh so generous to the people who work hard yet earn less than you. Whenever possible, smoke cigars to show that you have exquisite taste and are sophisticated.
If you think your modest financial standings don’t permit you to spend generously, conceal it from her. Spend first and worry later.
You are a softie but by all means hide this fact and act like one tough nut
“Bad guys get all the girls” and “Good guys finish last” resonate very well when it comes to getting the girls. There’s a reason why goody two shoes find it tougher to get hot girls compared to their more notorious but successful counterparts. You like to read? It’s a good trait but you don’t need to let her know yet at this embryonic stage. If you are not Bill Gates or Stephen Hawking, projecting a nerd image won’t bolster your chances.
Girls secretly admire guys who can give them a solid sense of security, never mind the fact that those guys could be acting tough. Ms. Ivy Josiah of Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO) is not going to take this good-naturedly but I am going to imply nevertheless.
Why do some women still stick around with their male partners even though they are abused, either through physical or verbal violence? Go figure that out.
There’s a bit of masochism in all of us.
Be a braggart
Blow your own trumpet and before long, she will help to blow yours. Talk big, the bigger the better but don’t go overboard and say you are the real Spiderman who successfully climbed our Twin Towers because even though girls like guys with achievements, they can smell a rat when you blow too hard. I don’t usually like people to add spices into their stories but in this circumstance, it is vital you sell yourself well. Make sure to make your tall stories sound believable.
Be generous with your money but not your praises of her
Who doesn’t like to be flattered? Girls are no exception; they want to feel nice and special. Towards that end, praise her but do it sparingly. I discourage you to praise her no end because in the long run, it will work to your disadvantage. I will tell you why. Overdose of good things yield mixed results, much like over-intake of sugar leads to diabetes. Save up your other praises to be used for other days.
There you go, the 7 points stated above are what I can share with you at this stage but if any one of you has other ideas, please don’t keep your knowledge to be brought into the netherworld. Share with us!
Remember, try not to be like yours truly who shines brightly in the talking department but falls miserably short in the listening department. If you think this is bad enough, I also happen to be a quintessential Hokkien who doesn’t know how to brag, is a softie, always acts like a retard, praise girls sky-high but don’t have a landing pad for them and am so transparent with everyone that people find looking at grass growing is more interesting than spending time with me.
Good luck and do invite me to your wedding dinner.
Ever wonder why U2 is hugely successful? To a certain extent, their hit “Mysterious Ways” helps them. Problem with me is that all total strangers read me like an open book.
Girls are attracted to guys who don’t reveal much about them because it piques their interest to find out more about what kind of person you are and what interests you, apart from sex, that is.
In trying to glean more information about you, they will go out with you another time.
How to be mysterious? Easy, just talk less.
Listen more and talk less
Undeniably, girls are talking machines and when 2 people go out together, if they get into a competition to see who talks more, who is going to do the listening? Also, the fairer gender will feel threatened if you talk too much because they will think that you are encroaching into their domain. On the other hand, listen intently to understand her better and give you the chance to talk as well, in relation to what she has just told you.
If at anytime you feel that she is talking too much, you may shut off your mind but please maintain that look of interest. Intersperse your slight nodding by making that “mmm hmm” sound. That way, she will think of you as a good listener.
Don’t be a Hokkien
Hokkiens are awfully stingy and such people usually don’t get their carrot. For the first few times, don’t bring her to hawker centres or places without air-conditioner. Refrain from suggesting that she foots the bill or share the burden of paying.
When the waiter comes with the bill, remove your platinum card (if you have any) from the wallet and flash it for 2 seconds before handing it to the waiter. If you don’t have such card, go ahead and pay using cash but no exact amount please because you are expected to leave tips to the waiter when he passes you the change. This way, you show her that you are oh so generous to the people who work hard yet earn less than you. Whenever possible, smoke cigars to show that you have exquisite taste and are sophisticated.
If you think your modest financial standings don’t permit you to spend generously, conceal it from her. Spend first and worry later.
You are a softie but by all means hide this fact and act like one tough nut
“Bad guys get all the girls” and “Good guys finish last” resonate very well when it comes to getting the girls. There’s a reason why goody two shoes find it tougher to get hot girls compared to their more notorious but successful counterparts. You like to read? It’s a good trait but you don’t need to let her know yet at this embryonic stage. If you are not Bill Gates or Stephen Hawking, projecting a nerd image won’t bolster your chances.
Girls secretly admire guys who can give them a solid sense of security, never mind the fact that those guys could be acting tough. Ms. Ivy Josiah of Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO) is not going to take this good-naturedly but I am going to imply nevertheless.
Why do some women still stick around with their male partners even though they are abused, either through physical or verbal violence? Go figure that out.
There’s a bit of masochism in all of us.
Be a braggart
Blow your own trumpet and before long, she will help to blow yours. Talk big, the bigger the better but don’t go overboard and say you are the real Spiderman who successfully climbed our Twin Towers because even though girls like guys with achievements, they can smell a rat when you blow too hard. I don’t usually like people to add spices into their stories but in this circumstance, it is vital you sell yourself well. Make sure to make your tall stories sound believable.
Be generous with your money but not your praises of her
Who doesn’t like to be flattered? Girls are no exception; they want to feel nice and special. Towards that end, praise her but do it sparingly. I discourage you to praise her no end because in the long run, it will work to your disadvantage. I will tell you why. Overdose of good things yield mixed results, much like over-intake of sugar leads to diabetes. Save up your other praises to be used for other days.
There you go, the 7 points stated above are what I can share with you at this stage but if any one of you has other ideas, please don’t keep your knowledge to be brought into the netherworld. Share with us!
Remember, try not to be like yours truly who shines brightly in the talking department but falls miserably short in the listening department. If you think this is bad enough, I also happen to be a quintessential Hokkien who doesn’t know how to brag, is a softie, always acts like a retard, praise girls sky-high but don’t have a landing pad for them and am so transparent with everyone that people find looking at grass growing is more interesting than spending time with me.
Good luck and do invite me to your wedding dinner.
3 comments:
I guess all the manuals you read by David Angelo, Derren Brown, Robert Green, David Shade didn;t go to waste. " Eh, Sorry ah...it's in your hard drive.If you don't know what I'm talking about Im sure it miraculously appeared in your hard drive without your knowledge "
A female's point of view:
Your 7pointers will only work on girls who are-
Airheads but beautifully blessed physically or your neighbour's 16 yr old daughter.
Easier luck on the airheads.
Some of it are true, some of it are not. :)
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